As some of you know, I have had a
very challenging past 6-ish months. I
was debating between staying at Edinboro University or transferring down to
Slippery Rock University. I went to
several campus visits at SRU, met with department chair, and talked to transfer
advisors—I pretty much did the works. I
can’t even begin to explain how much I felt like a freshman all over again. I fell in love with the campus and the
program. So many people asked me why I
wanted to transfer. Sometimes I dreaded
this question, but it was fair game and people had every right to ask me. I had many reasons why I wanted to transfer:
for a different major, for personal reasons, to “get out of Edinboro,” for more
independence. Gosh, I had a crap load of
reasons, and I was able to justify them all.
I can honestly say indecision is the worst. And 6 months of indecision is absolutely
terrible. I was frustrated, angry, sad, sometimes
lonely, etc. Name any emotion, and I
probably felt it at some point during that time. I would sometimes just burst out in tears. I was earnestly praying for wisdom and
direction, but at the same time felt weary and at the end of my rope. I would wake up and say “I’ve made a
decision; I’m going to the Rock.” The next
week, I would change my mind. I honestly
could probably have been stuck in this indecision until the day I died;
however, the real world has deadlines.
So I made a decision. I would
attend SRU in the fall. I mailed in my
acceptance forms and then things started to feel like a whirl-wind. I got my new email address, ID number, and password. I had to fill out various forms, get a new academic adviser, and figure out my schedule for the fall. I was excited, but not as excited as I thought
I would be; nevertheless, I continued with the transfer process.
My uncle. I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am
to have him in my life. Anyone who ever
meets him loves him. He is just that
type of person. He is definitely a
person who has never let me down. He follows
Jesus Christ with all his heart. He is
such an example to me and one of the biggest blessings. I can talk to him about anything. And he listens. He knew my struggle, and he also knew that I wanted
my decision to be something that was God ordained. One day he said to me, “Ally, there is a
difference between seeking what God has for your life and making your own
decision then praying for God to bless it.”
Wow, did those words ever continue to ring in my ears. I really began to examine my heart, my
motives, every reason that I had before.
I knew in my heart from the beginning that there weren’t two possible doors
for me. I knew there was a right and
wrong decision. I knew this was a spiritual
battle as well.
My grandmother was also one of the
biggest supporters through all of this.
That lady is my saving grace. I
often say that she is one of the few people to keep me sane haha. My grandma and I are literally the same
person. I have so much respect for her
and her opinion. She is a woman after
God’s own heart. I knew she prayed for
me all the time; she told me. I would
call her up on the way to my classes expressing my worries and concerns—scared
that if I stayed here that I would be limiting myself and all that I could
be. She would drop whatever she was
doing. And listen. She saw the battle that I was facing. I knew she wanted me to be happy in whatever
decision I made. I am forever grateful
for her godly counsel, wisdom, and advice.
I came home one day after class,
and I had a letter on my bed, a letter that I was, in a way, dreading to
get. It was to sign up for housing
assignments at SRU. I opened it and
threw it on my desk. I was so over this
whole thing. This was the first time
throughout this whole process that things really got real for me. I knew once I signed up for housing, there would be no going back. Little by little I felt a tug on my
heart. I knew the decision that I needed
to make. I also remember telling myself
from the beginning that whatever decision I ended up making, I was going to
go all in. 100%. Holding nothing
back. A couple weeks later I called SRU,
retracted my acceptance, and asked for my deposit back.
I was then able to move things
along at Edinboro. I began apartment
hunting with two very special ladies who were dear friends to me through everything. After a week of hunting, we found
and put a deposit down on an apartment.
We were all excited about this next adventure in our lives. Yeah, there were times I still thought about
SRU. In my heart I sometimes questioned God. I knew that it was the right decision, but I
still thought, “God are you sure? Do you
really want me here? Why do you want me
here? How are you going to use me? I can’t see that far ahead.”
Upon signing the lease for our apartment
we were entered in Edinboro University’s Free Apartment Giveaway contest. We were told to come to the giveaway party to
see if we won—the catch being you HAD to be present in order to win the
apartment, if your name was called. Anybody could enter
really. We asked the secretary at our
apartment complex how many entries they had gotten so far. She told us 800. Dear goodness, we knew we didn’t have a
chance. We debated back and forth if it
was even worth attending this party at all.
Really, what were our chances? And
I don’t normally win things. Well, except
a basket of Beanie Babies in the 2nd grade. Any who, we decided to attend the party—at least
there would be free food. We stood in
the cold for an hour waiting to see who would win this beloved apartment. Whoever won would be so excited. The DJ told us that it was time. He would call 10 finalists to come up and
chose a key to try in a locked door. Whose
key opened the door, won the free apartment for themselves and their
roommates. The name calling began. And one by one people went and picked out
their keys. Many names were called that
weren’t in attendance at the party, and they were disqualified from the
contest. Then the DJ said, “Number
Seven: Allyson Sarring.” My stomach
literally fell out of my body and was sitting on the concrete next to me (nice
image, huh? Lol). I go up still in a
daze and picked a key from the three that were remaining. I looked down at the number on my key,
#9. Might as well made it #100, there
was no way that they would make people wait that long to see if that door would open. Once all 10 people were chosen, then came the
scary part, trying to unlock the door. I
kept glancing back at my roommates, all of us thinking that this must be a
dream. The first person goes up, no
luck. No surprise there, no one ever
wins with the number one. The second
person goes up, no luck either. Then the
third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth.
The door was still locked. My
heart was pounding so hard that I could no longer hear the crowd around
me. I couldn’t believe this was happening. It was between me and one other girl. I go up to try my key and 1) put it in upside
down and 2) once I figured out how to use the key, turned the door knob the
wrong way. Once I finally got my act
together, THE DOOR OPENED! I was in a
state of shock, the crowd cheered, and I began to frantically search for my
roommates faces. I had no words to
say. I could not believe it. After all the interviews, I was able to look
back and really assess the situation. 800
entries. Me. 800 entries.
Me. I wasn’t even going to go
this party in the first place and now look what happened.
As I made the calls to my mom,
uncle, and grandma, they each just started praising God when the heard the
news. After the past months, we all knew
that is was a confirmation that this was where I was supposed to be. Maybe some say that I just got lucky; it was
a coincidence. I’m sorry, but I don’t
believe that for one second. I know 100%
that this was God. I thank God all the
time for this blessing. But here’s the important
thing, even if I didn’t win the apartment, I still knew in my spirit that this
is where God wanted me to be. Winning
was just an added bonus.
God sees the end result. He knows and understands our futures when we
don’t know and understand our futures.
I will never forget this image. Over spring break I had the opportunity to
spend it with one of my best friends in her hometown of Pittsburgh. One day she took me on a tour of the
city. I am a huge fan of architecture. Look though the images on my camera and you
will find most of them are of buildings.
I always say that I would love to be an architect, even though I don’t
know the first thing about it. Hey,
everyone has a pipe dream. Anyways, I was
utterly fascinated walking through the streets of downtown Pittsburgh. The city was so beautiful and
captivating. I couldn’t help but stop
every few feet to snap a photograph.
Walking around you feel so small compared to the huge skyscrapers. The only thing I didn’t like about the city
was you couldn’t really see where you were going. What I mean is you couldn’t see the big
picture of the city—everything was so close, up in your face, and noisy. It was easy for me to get confused about
where we were at and where we were going.
Later that day, we took the Incline
up to Mt. Washington to the overlook.
Mt. Washington was the complete opposite of the city. It was so quiet and peaceful. The view was phenomenal; you could see
absolutely everything from up there. Reflecting
back on this, I couldn’t help but think: this is what God’s sees, the big
picture. When I was going through my
situation, I didn’t see the big picture.
I just couldn’t. Everything was
confusing and messy. Kind of like when
you are directly in the city, you just see what’s in front of you, and that’s
it. But Mt. Washington. Oh, Mt. Washington! The big picture! God sees it, even if you don’t. I still don’t see the big picture for my
life. I don’t know exactly what I am
going to do, to see, to be, etc. But I
know someone who does! And what an
amazing feeling that is to know God really does have each of our steps
ordered. The thing is you have to seek
him, earnestly seek him.
Yeah maybe those months were some of
the hardest that I ever had to deal with, but you know what?—I wouldn’t trade
them for the world. I learned so much
about myself and God during that time. I
can honestly say that I am a very different person than I was 6 months ago, and
for the better. I am so blessed. I didn’t get “my way,” but I got something
better, God’s way. And I am still so, so
blessed. I was blessed even when this
situation was too much to bear, and I didn’t even realize it. I remember one day, my mom looked at me in
the middle of all of this and said, “You are blessed.” I looked right back at her and said, “No, I’m
not.” As soon as I said it, I felt so
convicted and thought that was the most ignorant thing that ever came out of my
mouth. I probably said a lot of things
during that time that I didn’t mean. That
is no excuse however for saying them, but I can say there were times that my
spiritual glasses were getting foggy. But
God knew and just kept tugging on my heart.
One of my favorite passages: Matthew 5:3-12 reads, “"You're
blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of
God and his rule. You're blessed when
you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by
the One most dear to you. You're blessed
when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment
you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. You're blessed when you've worked up a good
appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. You're
blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves
cared for. You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and
heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. You're blessed when you can show people how to
cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really
are, and your place in God's family. You're
blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution
drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or
throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that
the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad
when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And
all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and
witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.”
We are blessed NO MATTER WHAT SITUATION WE ARE FACING. God knows, god knows, god knows. We say that so much that we start to sound
like a broken Christian record. A broken
Christian record is one of the most unbearable sounds. Let’s stop saying it just to say it, let’s
believe it. We don’t always see the big
picture of things. God doesn't want to limit us and by following him the possibilities for our lives are endless! We might not
understand at the moment why we have to make certain decisions or why we are going
through certain things, but God sees the big picture. He sees it all.
God sees your Mt. Washington.
