Sunday, June 8, 2014

Awkward Class of 2014.

So, apparently I graduated college.  Well at least that's what this diploma that I'm staring at is telling me.  I never thought a piece of paper could make me happy, sad, and scared all at the same time.  Graduation day was a blur, and putting on my cap and gown kind of felt like I was playing dress up.  However, this feeling of playing dress up was one that I would not be able to reverse after removing the attire.  Removing the cap and gown wasn't going to return me to the reality that I once knew.  It was going to take me to a new reality of unknowns, questions, and adventure.

I can honestly say that post-graduation is one of the most awkward times of your life, even more awkward than those middle school years (and let's be honest, you all know that those years were #awksauce).  I use the word awkward because that is how I truly feel right now.  You're not sure what to do, where to go, you don't have too many answers for those who are just naturally curious about your future.  When you go to sleep or wake up in the morning and are just lying there silently in bed, you feel like a part of you is missing. I bet most of you are thinking, dang-- this girl is being so over dramatic, but most of you aren't at this point in life yet, so you really don't know what it feels like.  I can promise you these feelings.  I'm not even saying that these feelings are bad.  It just is what it is.

If you really know me, you knew that I loved college and enjoyed school, but at the same time wanted to be done so badly.  I was acutely aware that college was only a minuscule part of my life, and I would try very hard to embrace it as such, while at the same time, enjoying each moment.  I would say I did a pretty, freaking good job at that.

*pats myself on back*

Me and my college roommates! #darrowflow #222
I did not take for granted the privilege of being able to attend college, because I know not everyone gets that opportunity.  I was blessed with awesome family, friends, and teachers that made my college experience memorable.  I am thankful for those who pushed me, challenged me, and made me think outside of the box. An extra shout out to those who helped me not to be afraid of embracing my creative mind and the crazy, clear and unclear, dreams that I have.

I didn't let college define me. I don't let what it says on my diploma define me.  I know I am living for much more.  I have a bigger job to do, and I'm trying to keep that in mind as I'm now in this post-graduate season of life.

Honestly, right now I'm just excited to live some life.  I'm excited to read books for fun, to take pictures, to make videos, to take walks, to have meaningful conversations with people, to just observe the world.  Again, some of you might think I'm off my rocker.  I'm not saying that I don't want any responsibility, but I am saying that I'm not at the point in life with the responsibilities of a full time job, or husband, or family, or house....and I'm going to embrace that with all that is within me.  At this time, I'm not applying for jobs in my field.  I am currently employed at the mall at one of my favorite stores (which I'm actually super pumped about!)  and I'm just living some awkward, but awesome post-grad life.

The impression on my heart right now is to sit with my Jesus.  I felt like that for a while leading up to graduation.  I just couldn't shake it.  I felt like I wasn't supposed to make any huge life altering decisions this summer, but I was supposed to sit with God.  For the last 16 years of my life, I always knew what the next year would hold...school.  And for once in my life, I don't know what's next, and I think God really wants me to embrace this season instead of scrambling to find the next thing to be drawn to.  I don't just want to find the next thing to be drawn to, I want to be drawn more to Him.

It's my hearts desire to continue to be in tune with the Holy Spirit and where he is leading me daily.  I'm not worried about what God is calling me to do 20 years from now; I really want to be aware of what God is calling me to do right now.  Thinking about the future is great, but at the same time can be counterproductive to the moment.  I used to be a big planner and have everything lined up.  Control was a problem for me and through a series of circumstances, God quickly showed me that I wasn't the one in control.  And for someone with a Type-A personality, that is not always easy to deal with, but I'm glad I have to.

I have to trust Jesus daily.  I am hopelessly human and remarkably unremarkable, but Jesus wants to use me any way.  It's beautiful, exciting, and scary all at the same time.  My heart is heavily drenched with purpose.  I am so thankful that God has laid that sense of purpose on my heart through out my college years.  It made those days of sadness, confusion, and frustration so much easier to embrace.  The creativeness, inspiration, and passion that I always have felt deep down inside, I know God put there for a real reason.  I know God's given me the ability to change this world.  What I feel in my heart sometimes cannot be put into words, and that's exactly how I know that it is of God, and not me.  Everyday I hang on to this clear, yet unclear, messy, creative, God-inspired dream.  I feel like, if i knew exactly what it was, I would want to take control of this adventure that is before me.

Below, is a spoken word from a song that I just adore, called Cageless Birds, by Jonathan David and Melissa Helser (check it out on Spotify!).  If my heart could talk, this is exactly what it would say....

Standing on the shore of decision looking into the face of adventure desire to abandon all I know what pushes me is rooted somewhere between misunderstanding and knowing, knowing that what I want to understand is not within my reach. So, i ponder my escape not knowing what lies ahead. Adventure in theory is full of excitement and bleeds with passion for life, but adventure in reality is full of breathless moments, silent nights and wounds that leave scars of memory on our heart. Can I go the distance? Can I give all my mind to get what the messenger is saying? Can I surrender my knowing? Will I survive the humility of ignorance to obtain a treasure that earthly gold cannot buy? Will I ask the question of honesty even if the answer convicts my soul and sends me to the land of repentance? All of these thoughts flood my mind. As I stand on the shore of choosing, and in the distance of my wondering I see with clear eyes, a flock of wild beautiful birds, swooping clearly in my direction as if they see me and are coming for me. And how strange it is that their eyes are full of clarity and the melody of their flapping wings sings out...we are coming for you.

Don't let this world break your dreams.  Sometimes what's in your heart, people aren't always going to understand, maybe you find yourself not fully understanding it either.  People are going to remind you about money and time and the uncertainty and the risk and the unrealistic-ness of it all and the blahblahblah.

But I'll just simply leave you with this....

Our God is good, but he is not safe.
Keep your heart wild for Jesus.


Thursday, February 6, 2014

Community.Home.Family. #XAWR14

Over the course of your life, you will come in contact with people that will change your life forever.  I can definitely say that Chi Alpha Campus Ministries has made a major impact in my life.  I found a community.  I found a home.  I found a family.

I have been a part of the student leadership team for the past year.  Every day I have the opportunity to work with such an amazing group of students who have a passion for Christ and his work.  I am constantly encouraged and inspired by each and every one of them.  I don’t know if I tell them this enough, but I am so blessed by each of their friendships and I love them more than words could say. 

They are all so dedicated to building God’s kingdom, rather than their own. 
They all want to make a big deal out God, rather than themselves. 

Every individual on the leadership team is so unique and different. 
We’ve all come from different paths. 
We’ve all faced different challenges and hardships. 
We’ve all experienced different highs and lows. 

Our different strengths, weaknesses, personalities, and quirks make us who we are…..and that’s the beauty of the body of Christ.  Together we are a force on this campus!

It beautifully says in Romans 12:4 [Message Bible], “In this way we are like the various parts of a human body.  Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around.  The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people.  Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body.”

Being a part of the leadership team has made me realize that I need my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  All of us contribute something valuable to the group and with someone missing, the group would not be the same.  WE NEED EACH OTHER!  We are able to be discipled and disciple others.  What a beautiful thing!

Over the course of the past year, we’ve had the opportunity to see lives changed and become new in Christ.  We have seen the sick become healed, the broken become whole, and the fearful become overcomers!  God is doing great things on this campus, and He is not done yet! 

It’s so important for student leaders to be open vessels for the Lord.  Blessings will come out of our obedience to His will, in our own individual lives, and on our campus.  We have to continue growing together and let the Holy Spirit move among us!


Remember….We are royalty.  We have destiny.  WE are going to change history.  

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

What, What, What are you doing?

Higher education is such a great thing. I feel blessed and privileged to be able to go to college; however, there is so much more to this life. Everyone knows that I am currently looking for internships, everyone knows that I will be graduating from college next May. 

*Cue the millions of questions and comments: "Well, what do you want to do after college? You know you are going to have to move to a bigger city. Are you getting your masters degree?-- no? well, how are you going to set yourself a part from the competition? That probably won't pay well."


These are valid questions. I usually find myself politely listening to these people, who I am sure have good intentions in all of their questions and comments because in the end, I know I am called to something more than the system of higher education could ever provide for me. On your death bed, it's not going to matter what college you went to, what your major was, what job you had, how much money you made....what's going to matter is how you impacted people, how you made them feel, how you loved them. I feel that I can impact people whether I am a journalist in New York City, or if I work in a flower shop, or if I work in the high school cafeteria-- even if I am a greeter at Walmart. Some of you might be thinking: "Wow, this girl has no aspirations or goals. She is such a waste of a college degree." However, I think the opposite is quite true. Though out my college career, I was able to see the type of person I didn't want to become in this life.  I aspire to not to fall into the trap of society. If its at Walmart, a cafeteria, in a city, or in another country it doesn't really matter at the end of the day. So when people ask me, "What's your plans after college?" I can smile and say, "I have no clue."


I aspire to look beyond myself to see the greater purpose I have on this earth. 

It's what I do while I'm there that matters.

I aspire to embrace where God is calling me to go, even if it's scary and uncomfortable. 

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Run with Those Beautiful Feet


People often ask what is your favorite physical feature.  For the longest time, I never really had an answer for that question.  I would usually take the easy way out and just say my curly hair because that was a distinctive feature most people knew me by.  As I got more interested in photography, I then started to say my eyes were my favorite part of me not because of how my eyes actually looked, but because of how they saw the world.  If you asked me that same question today, my answer would be very different.  Yeah, I still like my curly hair and my eyes, but I no longer consider them "my favorite."

It wasn't until last week that I realized what my favorite part of me actually was.


I was walking back to my apartment from class, in the pouring rain, and no umbrella I might add.  I love the rain, so for me it was just a beautiful moment in  time.  As I took off my flip flops and began to walk barefoot in the rain, I looked down at my feet.  I never really examined my feet before.  I mean, I see my feet every day, but never really took the time to look at them or appreciate them.  As I stood on the cement, which was covered in flower petals that fell from a tree, God showed me how beautiful my feet really were and how much power and purpose they held.


I think most of us take our feet for granted.  We use them every day without taking the time to think about how special and necessary they really are.  Without them, life, in a way, would stand still.  I don't believe in being idle, especially being idle for the Kingdom of God.  We should always be moving, growing, developing, helping, teaching, preaching, loving, caring, creating, inspiring, encouraging,  etc.  All those things requite ACTION-- a movement!


As I looked down at my feet in the rain, I began to feel this new and refreshed purpose rise up inside of me.  I felt God was telling me to move:


Go.

Create action.
Make a move.
Stir things up.
Create a reaction.
Start a revolution.
Make an impact.

It was so humbling.


I feel like sometimes we pray for God to stir up something inside of us, and when he does, we are afraid to step out into what he actually has for us to do.  We don't want to move.  We don't want to take the risk.  We don't want to get uncomfortable.


Literally inspiration can hit me at any moment. Honestly, I feel inspired with or by something most of the time. I feel that I have a lot inside of me that God put there, and I want to share it with the rest of the world.  Things I want to create, see, and do. Sometimes I feel like I am going to explode with inspiration. At times, I don't always know how to channel my inspiration because it can hit me so strongly. It can be rather overwhelming at times. And I love it. It gives me a sense of urgency.  A burden laid on my heart.


Often times we don't want to walk with purpose.  Sometimes we just want to walk where we want to walk.  But, when we do that, we are wasting our steps.  People always say, don't waste your breath, but seriously, how about don't waste your steps!  I don't know about you, but I do not want to waste any of my steps, and I don't want them to be in vain.  I'm like, "God, I feel your purpose so strongly sometimes, but I don't move.  I don't put to action what I feel you are creating and inspiring inside of me.  It scares me."  And when you feel that way, that's the time when you have to move, otherwise you might never.


Your passions and the things that inspire you GOD WANTS TO USE FOR HIS KINGDOM. How awesome is that?!  I love the saying, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."  How encouraging to know that God wants to use the things inside of us for a greater purpose.  He wants to use our story to tell His story.


We are all walking stories.  You feet have carried you all though out this life.  They have carried you though the happy times and the sad times, the times of brokenness and despair, and the times where you were hurt so badly feeling like you were just barely hanging on.  But, at the same time, your feet have also carried you into times of peace and joy, laughter and contentment.


Never regret where your feet have been.


I know maybe you're thinking that my feet have carried me to places where I shouldn't have been, to do things which I shouldn't have done, to see things which I shouldn't have saw, and to experience things that I should have experienced.  That may be true.  However, the beautiful thing about feet is that they are always moving.  Not happy with where your feet have wandered?  Are you regretting things?  Those metaphorical scars on your feet might feel ugly, but can be turned into something beautiful.  Those scars can be used to inspire, encourage, and make an impact for the Kingdom of God.  Now, that is something that will last forever.  Yes, God wants to use you.  Right now.  As you continue to walk with the Lord, your feet will continuly grow in beauty.  Allow God to use your feet. 


I pray to God you'd be burdened for beautiful feet

You hold the truth that saves
So run and shout it to the world
They can't believe in something they ain't never heard
Go, go, go and run with those beautiful feet

*This summer God has inspired me to work on a project involving people, feet, and their stories/passions/inspirations.  I will be posting stories and pictures to my blog, Facebook page, and photography page.  I don't know exactly where God will take my feet with this project, but I am willing to go where he leads me.  Walking in his purpose with purpose.




Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Tell Them!

No time to actually write a blog today, so here's a Vlog!  Just wanted to share something God placed on my heart over the past few months, and something that really hit me this morning!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Bet on it.

I’m not going to lie; I don’t know the first thing about poker.  I don’t know the rules or the terminology. I don’t know what is considered a good hand.  I probably don’t have a good poker face either.  Wait, I take it back I actually would have a kick butt poker face, but anyways that’s not the point.  None of this really matters to me because I never had or will have the desire to be a part of the World Poker Tour haha.  I have a lot of things on my bucket list, but I can positively say that participating in the WPT is not one of them.  Maybe my lack of poker knowledge comes as a surprise to some, just kidding; I know nobody was surprised at that at all.  However, I do know one thing about poker: What it means to go “all in.”

When a poker player is going all in, it means that they are betting everything that they have.  It pretty much takes any bluffing opportunities away.  Your existence in this game can be over with just this one move.  Most look at this move as a risky one, which is very accurate.  However, at the same time, I feel like this is a risky move backed with security.  Sounds kind of contradictory, right?  Let me explain.  One just doesn’t go all in just because it looks like a fun thing to do and will make everyone sit on the edge of their seats, do they?  Yeah, I’m sure going all in adds a little drama at the World Poker Tour, but that’s not the sole purpose of making that large of a move.  An individual goes all in when they are confident that they have their opponent beat.  An online poker site explains that, “This gives the person making the all-in bet the advantage every time.”

Wow, what a feeling it must be to walk into a move such as that with the utmost confidence! You know that you have something on your side that no one can beat. 

I can’t help but think how the idea of going all in relates so much to our walk with Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.  We have something that can’t be beat!- the upper hand, the advantage!   We have someone on our side that has already won the battle.  Jesus has already conquered death, hell, and the grave!  There are often times when Christians walk around defeated and down.  I’ve been there and done that as well.  I think if we are all honest with ourselves, we all have experienced that.  That’s our human nature; the fleshly part of us, so it comes naturally.  God understands how we feel about circumstances that we face in this life.  There is not one emotion that we feel that he hasn’t already felt!  But at the same time, we have to make sure that our emotions aren’t ruling our soul.  There are three parts to our soul: 1) emotions, 2) intellect, and 3) will.  We can choose what part of our soul is going to rule us; we are free agents. 

Yes, there are going to be situations and circumstances in this life that are going to bring us to our knees, things that make us feel broken and crushed.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say that becoming a follower of Christ our lives would be made perfect.  We are going to go through things.  Sometimes being brought to our knees with the situations that life throws at us is what helps us to stand firmer on the things of God.  Sometimes it takes walking through the fire to purify us.  Think about what are the fiery situations in your life.   

I am learning more and more each day how to walk in complete confidence with God.  I think of the song “I’ve Got Confidence” by Elvis Presley.  In the song he sings, “I've got confidence, God is gonna see me through No matter what the case may be I know He's gonna fix it for me…”  Elvis also talks about Job from the Bible and how even though he lost his health, wife, children, and cattle, he knew God still cared!

Satan has nothing on us!  We, as Christians, can take back the authority that Jesus Christ has given us.  We are overcomers through HIM.

Last football season, the New York Giants took the idea of going all in and ran with it…literally.  Days before their week 16 game against the New York Jets, the Giants were 7-7.  By the looks of things, their season was slipping away, along with their hopes of getting into the playoffs, never mind the Superbowl.  By the looks of it, the Giants would end up finishing second or even third in the NFC East. 

Then one chapel meeting changed everything.  Gian Paul Gonzalez, a teacher at Union City High School in New Jersey, spoke at the service and encouraged the players/coaches to re-examine their motivations and go all in.  He gave each team member a poker chip and a sharpie.  He then told them to write their initials on the front of the chip and challenged them to think about what God wanted them to go all in about.  It could be anything from the team to being a more committed father or husband, whatever!

The Giants came back harder than ever.  Winning game after game it seemed like the Giants were a whole new team.  Gonzalez was the wake-up call that they needed.  In the end, the Giants won the 2012 Superbowl against the New England patriots, 21 to 17.  Absolutely amazing!

There are times that I feel like we talk about giving God our all, going all in with reckless abandonment, but when the rubber meets the road, we chicken out.  Let’s not be the type of Christian who is all talk and no game.  When is the last time you really, I mean REALLY, had to put all your chips in the center?  (And I’m not talking about in a game of poker.)  When is the last time you really had to stretch your faith in what God was doing?  If you can’t answer that question, well, I hope one day you will be able to.  I can definitely say I've had to do that before, and I know there will be many more times ahead.

Let’s live on the edge a little.  Let’s go out on a limb.  Remember that when you go out on a limb, that's when you will find the fruit.  I have my own poker chip that I made with my initials on it.  I put it on my bulletin board as a reminder that every day when I wake up to go all in for Jesus.  I am fully aware that committing myself to Christ will bring stretching and growth in my life.
My Poker Chip!


Jesus went all in for us when he was crucified on that cross.  Then why do we sometimes find it so hard to do the same for him.  Pray that God revels to you areas in your life where he wants more of and more control of.  It can be anything from our emotions and attitudes, to our hopes and dreams, etc.  So, trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and walk in confidence with him today!  In doing so, I know we won't be disappointed.  I bet on it!          

Thursday, April 26, 2012

God Sees Your Mt. Washington

As some of you know, I have had a very challenging past 6-ish months.  I was debating between staying at Edinboro University or transferring down to Slippery Rock University.  I went to several campus visits at SRU, met with department chair, and talked to transfer advisors—I pretty much did the works.  I can’t even begin to explain how much I felt like a freshman all over again.  I fell in love with the campus and the program.  So many people asked me why I wanted to transfer.  Sometimes I dreaded this question, but it was fair game and people had every right to ask me.  I had many reasons why I wanted to transfer: for a different major, for personal reasons, to “get out of Edinboro,” for more independence.  Gosh, I had a crap load of reasons, and I was able to justify them all.  I can honestly say indecision is the worst.  And 6 months of indecision is absolutely terrible.  I was frustrated, angry, sad, sometimes lonely, etc.  Name any emotion, and I probably felt it at some point during that time.  I would sometimes just burst out in tears.  I was earnestly praying for wisdom and direction, but at the same time felt weary and at the end of my rope.  I would wake up and say “I’ve made a decision; I’m going to the Rock.”  The next week, I would change my mind.  I honestly could probably have been stuck in this indecision until the day I died; however, the real world has deadlines.  So I made a decision.  I would attend SRU in the fall.  I mailed in my acceptance forms and then things started to feel like a whirl-wind.  I got my new email address, ID number, and password.  I had to fill out various forms, get a new academic adviser, and figure out my schedule for the fall.  I was excited, but not as excited as I thought I would be; nevertheless, I continued with the transfer process.

My uncle.  I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am to have him in my life.  Anyone who ever meets him loves him.  He is just that type of person.  He is definitely a person who has never let me down.  He follows Jesus Christ with all his heart.  He is such an example to me and one of the biggest blessings.  I can talk to him about anything.  And he listens.  He knew my struggle, and he also knew that I wanted my decision to be something that was God ordained.  One day he said to me, “Ally, there is a difference between seeking what God has for your life and making your own decision then praying for God to bless it.”  Wow, did those words ever continue to ring in my ears.  I really began to examine my heart, my motives, every reason that I had before.  I knew in my heart from the beginning that there weren’t two possible doors for me.  I knew there was a right and wrong decision.  I knew this was a spiritual battle as well.  

My grandmother was also one of the biggest supporters through all of this.  That lady is my saving grace.  I often say that she is one of the few people to keep me sane haha.  My grandma and I are literally the same person.  I have so much respect for her and her opinion.  She is a woman after God’s own heart.  I knew she prayed for me all the time; she told me.  I would call her up on the way to my classes expressing my worries and concerns—scared that if I stayed here that I would be limiting myself and all that I could be.  She would drop whatever she was doing.  And listen.  She saw the battle that I was facing.  I knew she wanted me to be happy in whatever decision I made.  I am forever grateful for her godly counsel, wisdom, and advice.  

I came home one day after class, and I had a letter on my bed, a letter that I was, in a way, dreading to get.  It was to sign up for housing assignments at SRU.  I opened it and threw it on my desk.  I was so over this whole thing.  This was the first time throughout this whole process that things really got real for me.  I knew once I signed up for housing, there would be no going back.  Little by little I felt a tug on my heart.  I knew the decision that I needed to make.  I also remember telling myself from the beginning that whatever decision I ended up making, I was going to go all in. 100%.  Holding nothing back.  A couple weeks later I called SRU, retracted my acceptance, and asked for my deposit back.  

I was then able to move things along at Edinboro.  I began apartment hunting with two very special ladies who were dear friends to me through everything.  After a week of hunting, we found and put a deposit down on an apartment.  We were all excited about this next adventure in our lives.  Yeah, there were times I still thought about SRU.  In my heart I sometimes questioned God.  I knew that it was the right decision, but I still thought, “God are you sure?  Do you really want me here?  Why do you want me here?  How are you going to use me?  I can’t see that far ahead.”

Upon signing the lease for our apartment we were entered in Edinboro University’s Free Apartment Giveaway contest.  We were told to come to the giveaway party to see if we won—the catch being you HAD to be present in order to win the apartment, if your name was called.  Anybody could enter really.  We asked the secretary at our apartment complex how many entries they had gotten so far.  She told us 800.  Dear goodness, we knew we didn’t have a chance.  We debated back and forth if it was even worth attending this party at all.  Really, what were our chances?  And I don’t normally win things.  Well, except a basket of Beanie Babies in the 2nd grade.  Any who, we decided to attend the party—at least there would be free food.  We stood in the cold for an hour waiting to see who would win this beloved apartment.  Whoever won would be so excited.  The DJ told us that it was time.  He would call 10 finalists to come up and chose a key to try in a locked door.  Whose key opened the door, won the free apartment for themselves and their roommates.  The name calling began.  And one by one people went and picked out their keys.  Many names were called that weren’t in attendance at the party, and they were disqualified from the contest.  Then the DJ said, “Number Seven: Allyson Sarring.”  My stomach literally fell out of my body and was sitting on the concrete next to me (nice image, huh? Lol).  I go up still in a daze and picked a key from the three that were remaining.  I looked down at the number on my key, #9.  Might as well made it #100, there was no way that they would make people wait that long to see if that door would open.  Once all 10 people were chosen, then came the scary part, trying to unlock the door.  I kept glancing back at my roommates, all of us thinking that this must be a dream.  The first person goes up, no luck.  No surprise there, no one ever wins with the number one.  The second person goes up, no luck either.  Then the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth.  The door was still locked.  My heart was pounding so hard that I could no longer hear the crowd around me.  I couldn’t believe this was happening.  It was between me and one other girl.  I go up to try my key and 1) put it in upside down and 2) once I figured out how to use the key, turned the door knob the wrong way.  Once I finally got my act together, THE DOOR OPENED!  I was in a state of shock, the crowd cheered, and I began to frantically search for my roommates faces.  I had no words to say.  I could not believe it.  After all the interviews, I was able to look back and really assess the situation.  800 entries.  Me.  800 entries.  Me.  I wasn’t even going to go this party in the first place and now look what happened.    

As I made the calls to my mom, uncle, and grandma, they each just started praising God when the heard the news.  After the past months, we all knew that is was a confirmation that this was where I was supposed to be.  Maybe some say that I just got lucky; it was a coincidence.  I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that for one second.  I know 100% that this was God.  I thank God all the time for this blessing.  But here’s the important thing, even if I didn’t win the apartment, I still knew in my spirit that this is where God wanted me to be.  Winning was just an added bonus.  

God sees the end result.  He knows and understands our futures when we don’t know and understand our futures.

I will never forget this image.  Over spring break I had the opportunity to spend it with one of my best friends in her hometown of Pittsburgh.  One day she took me on a tour of the city.  I am a huge fan of architecture.  Look though the images on my camera and you will find most of them are of buildings.  I always say that I would love to be an architect, even though I don’t know the first thing about it.  Hey, everyone has a pipe dream.  Anyways, I was utterly fascinated walking through the streets of downtown Pittsburgh.  The city was so beautiful and captivating.  I couldn’t help but stop every few feet to snap a photograph.  Walking around you feel so small compared to the huge skyscrapers.  The only thing I didn’t like about the city was you couldn’t really see where you were going.  What I mean is you couldn’t see the big picture of the city—everything was so close, up in your face, and noisy.  It was easy for me to get confused about where we were at and where we were going.  

Later that day, we took the Incline up to Mt. Washington to the overlook.  Mt. Washington was the complete opposite of the city.  It was so quiet and peaceful.  The view was phenomenal; you could see absolutely everything from up there.  Reflecting back on this, I couldn’t help but think: this is what God’s sees, the big picture.  When I was going through my situation, I didn’t see the big picture.  I just couldn’t.  Everything was confusing and messy.  Kind of like when you are directly in the city, you just see what’s in front of you, and that’s it.  But Mt. Washington.  Oh, Mt. Washington!  The big picture!  God sees it, even if you don’t.  I still don’t see the big picture for my life.  I don’t know exactly what I am going to do, to see, to be, etc.  But I know someone who does!  And what an amazing feeling that is to know God really does have each of our steps ordered.  The thing is you have to seek him, earnestly seek him. 

Yeah maybe those months were some of the hardest that I ever had to deal with, but you know what?—I wouldn’t trade them for the world.  I learned so much about myself and God during that time.  I can honestly say that I am a very different person than I was 6 months ago, and for the better.  I am so blessed.  I didn’t get “my way,” but I got something better, God’s way.  And I am still so, so blessed.  I was blessed even when this situation was too much to bear, and I didn’t even realize it.  I remember one day, my mom looked at me in the middle of all of this and said, “You are blessed.”  I looked right back at her and said, “No, I’m not.”  As soon as I said it, I felt so convicted and thought that was the most ignorant thing that ever came out of my mouth.  I probably said a lot of things during that time that I didn’t mean.  That is no excuse however for saying them, but I can say there were times that my spiritual glasses were getting foggy.  But God knew and just kept tugging on my heart.

One of my favorite passages: Matthew 5:3-12 reads, “"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.  You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.  You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.  You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for. You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.  You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.  You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.  Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.”

We are blessed NO MATTER WHAT SITUATION WE ARE FACING.  God knows, god knows, god knows.  We say that so much that we start to sound like a broken Christian record.  A broken Christian record is one of the most unbearable sounds.  Let’s stop saying it just to say it, let’s believe it.  We don’t always see the big picture of things. God doesn't want to limit us and by following him the possibilities for our lives are endless!  We might not understand at the moment why we have to make certain decisions or why we are going through certain things, but God sees the big picture.  He sees it all. 

God sees your Mt. Washington.